Infertility Awareness Month


It recently came to my attention that October is distinguished as “Infertility Awareness Month”. (You may also be aware that there is an “Infertility Awareness Week” recognized in April.)

This is a subject I approach with caution and deep respect as this is not something I have experienced first-hand, but rather, as a friend and daughter. My journey has brought me two children, both conceived naturally and immediately upon “trying” for them. I repeat: that is MY journey. No two look the same.

My mother waited almost three years, month after month, before “finally” getting that positive result on her home pregnancy kit. It took another few years for my brother to come along, and then BAM!, my baby sister was a sudden and wonderful surprise.

I have friends who have experienced miscarriages, and multiple at that. Others who have undergone In Vitro Fertilization, both successfully and not. And friends who have adopted children.

No two journey’s look the same. But one thing is for sure… I feel safe to say that for those who have the calling to parenthood, the immediate assumption and expectation is that it’ll be a natural conception, and within your own desired timeframe.

This is one of those topics that can feel painful. It can come with a strong desire to stay silent. To cancel social media accounts to avoid seeing others’ happiness with their children.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, and through this blog, is that writing is both therapeutic for the author, and transformative for the reader. You never know who can learn, or no longer feel alone, after hearing your story.

We welcome you to share your story during this month of awareness. Please email it to,

much love,


P.S. I thought this was a nice blog from Dorothy Pang, L.Ac. Posted on Life Enthusiast:

2 thoughts on “Infertility Awareness Month

  1. Samantha

    I was diagnosed with PCOS around 2007. By the second doctor I asked about it. The first seemed dismissive of my concerns and said I didn’t have all the symptoms so I couldn’t have the disorder. The second said he was ridiculous. Just because I didn’t present every single symptom at my appointment just meant some were not currently presenting. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I wasn’t crazy, my problems were related. It was also a huge blow. I was in my mid twenties, married only three years, and suddenly our plans for family went up in smoke. I dove into research and the odds were not good. Personally, it was devastating. Family is so important, spiritually, culturally, socially. So much so that I offered my husband an uncontested divorce. He rejected the idea out of hand. I watched the families around me grow, I started avoiding babies. I hid the fact that holding other people’s children was very hard. Sarcasm and sharp humor about kids became armor. To the point that everyone around me believes I don’t even like kids. I have found the hard way that my health, fertility and femininity are incredibly closely intertwined. I spend a good amount of each day fighting the tide of inner negativity. I shouldn’t have more facial hair than my brother. The time I spend working out is supposed to help reduce my weight. I should be the mother of my husband’s children. I am so broken, I can’t do what I am biologically geared for. That’s just some of what I have on repeat in my head. I am much better at dealing with it now, mostly due to supremely supportive husband, family and friends. If there is one thing i would ask others to stop doing is to suggest I look into treatment and alternatives. Do you truly believe that I have not considered, every day of the last decade, every option, suggestion, herb, drug, exercise and therapy out there?

  2. Jill A Ross

    I had endometriosis that cost me both ovaries and my uterus. I never had any children. My first husband I tried before the hysterectomy but it never happened, even on fertility drugs. My doctor would always say he never understood how I was not getting pregnant. It didn’t help that after having his sperm tested the doctor said of my ex-husband “he could impregnate steel, but apparently not you.” It got so bad that when I would find out each month I was not pregnant I was consoling those who were praying I would be. I finally had to have the surgery. That’s when a family member told me I must just not have really wanted children. I was no longer invited to baby showers, asked to babysit, or even invited over to friends houses if they had kids. I became a social outcast. That’s when my husband decided it was not fair to him because I could not have kids. So for that and other reasons we divorced.
    Later I met a man with a son and two daughters. The son was not in his life at the time, but those little girls, oh my. He asked me to marry him. I made him wait and think about the fact I was infertile, I need to be sure he was ok with what he had. He was. We married and I was stepmom. People would ask me when I would have real kids. I knew my place as the stepmom but that hurt. It hurts knowing I will never be momma, that I do not get first consideration, or any sometimes. My stepson is back in our lives after many years. Between him and the two girls we now have 4 grandchildren who know me only as Nene, they don’t understand the dynamic. I love our kids and grandkids but the hurt, pain, emptiness, and longing really never go away-ever.


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