By Brieanna Knepper
Does anyone else hold on to stuff forever? Things that you can’t even remember where they came from or how they ended up in your house? I do. I get easily attached to things. I can find sentimental value in almost anything. Or I just feel too guilty getting rid of something. I tend to hold on to things years past when I should let go. I’m not great with change.
Humans have this unbelievable ability to reinvent themselves whenever they want. The ability to decide on any given day who or what they want to be. Anything is possible! It’s incredible! I, on the other hand, am a creature of habit. I can eat the same things, wear the same things, and watch the same things. Over and over and over. It’s comforting. It’s predictable. Two of the things this 52-week challenge is intended to shake up.
What better way to invite change into my life than to purge my house of things that I no longer need to hold on to.
I decided that I would challenge myself to go through my closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t suit me anymore. To be brutally honest with myself. To get rid of anything that doesn’t feel right to me. I will be upfront and say that I have had some of these clothes for 10+ years. Not even for any good reason. I took each item off the hanger and tried it on and looked at it closely. I wanted things that made me feel like me. That made me feel good in my skin right now.
It was truly surprising how many things in my closet were bought for a completely different person. The 3 sizes too small clothes that I kept in hopes that someday I will be skinny enough to wear them and I can finally feel worthy. The clothes that I bought because I saw some trendy person wearing it and wanted to fit in, but never really liked for myself. The high heel shoes that I bought to make me feel more girly, like it was some how wrong to be a girl that likes sneakers.
Over half my closet was chosen for someone other than me. For some version of myself that was supposed to be “good enough”. How much time and money did I invest in trying to fit in to someone else’s idea of what that looked like? How many times did I put something on and feel uncomfortable just to fit in to some box I thought I needed to be in?
I sat with the pile of clothes that I no longer needed. They weren’t a part of me anymore. They never really were though. They were the versions of me that I thought I needed to have to be considered “normal” or “good enough”.
I’m opening myself up to finding out who I really am and learning that I get to decide what that looks like. I can find what fits me and my personality. Maybe what that is today will be completely different in a year, but isn’t that the point? To change and grow and find yourself over and over? It feels freeing. Letting go of what other people think in order to listen to myself for the first time.
I’m letting go of the parts of myself that no longer serve me so that I can make space for the new. Physically and mentally. I’m open and willing to do what it takes to find the best version of me. I hope you are too!