It’s Okay to Say No

By Sarah Wylde

This time of the holiday season can quickly become extremely overwhelming. Between your regular everyday life and errands are the added dinners, parties, shopping, and more. It is a time spent with family, friends, and endless to-do lists that leaves very little time for yourself.

I am getting overwhelmed, just thinking of everything that should be accomplished before the end of the year. But a phone call I received today reminded me of something important. It is okay to say no. Those two letters should be a vital part of your self-care this year and moving forward.

When a person asks us to do something, you do not automatically have to say yes. Based on how you feel, your needs, thoughts, and what you have on your plate, you can think it over and get back to them. It should not be off-limits; we are responsible for our decisions and saying no is one of those. I understand that this is easier said than done.

When it comes to family and friends, it can be hard to say no without feeling like you are letting them down. If you start to feel bad, I want you to remember. Your self-worth does is not depended on you being a people pleaser and how much you do for others. It doesn’t mean you love/like them any less. You can even practice saying no at home in front of the mirror. That is something I do when I know a request is coming and that I am not able to add it to my already full plate. 

Here are some helpful tips on how to say no:

  • If you are with the person, make eye contact with them.
  • Speak clearly.
  • Be concise and sincere.
  • Use a calming tone of voice.
  • Be positive, “I’m sorry. I appreciate you asking…” “I’m unable to,” “No, thank you.”
  • Don’t apologize for not having the time.
  • It is alright to have boundaries. 

I hope this helps.

Until next time, have a great week!

Sarah Wylde